on healing through writing

    I’ve always been told and read that writing of any sort helps heal. Journaling is more than likely the number one answer on any list. And while yes it does help, it also matters though on what kind of writing to do. Not everyone is made for x, y, z. So what’s right for me? 

That will be my personal age old question, what is right for me?

    I have a bad habit of allowing others' influence to affect me, even my own inner critic is my final boss (that’s my inner voice of doubt. She is always so loud). Out of anyone, I’m the most harsh on myself. I don’t talk about it enough, but I try hard to work through shit that isn’t a big deal for others. It’s the silent conflicts, the daily thoughts of ‘I’m not doing enough, I’m not good enough…” The list could go on and on.

    Maybe this is why I decided I’d have a hand in blogging and writing, at least I could start somewhere. I like to talk…a lot… but I also like to sit in silence and listen. I am the ‘therapist friend’ if you want to get technical. But sometimes I don't always get to say what I really want, I don’t always get to talk about myself. Hence again– (the blog). 

    About a year ago I dove deeper into my personal natal chart. The biggest thing that it kept screaming out to me was that I in some way– am a writer. I tell you now friends, I denied it at first all too quickly. Then as Hades and Loki looooooove to do– they shoved it down my throat (her hair wrapped up in my hand) with signs from above and below. I finally relaxed my jaw and allowed the idea to sink in (Good girl.) 

    So here I am, writing. To call myself a writer is hard though (there’s that nagging voice again. I need to give her a name. Hmmm…). Sure I write, I journal, I write up poems. But am I really a writer? (Well? Am I?) Hmmm, well alright Dolores, I must not tell lies… I am a writer.

    I’m here to continue to heal, I’m here to write. I’m here to share my voice and my stories. I love writing and being a writer. The little version of me is jumping for joy that I finally realize I’m in the space that I am meant to be in. With Hekate’s guiding torch, I no longer stand at the crossroads staring in every direction in confusion. I forge my own path and explore who I am. Where I’m meant to be. And it is here in this space with you.

Until next time friends,

C.R. Phoenix