For over a decade now, I’ve found my particular spiritual path. In an earlier blog I mentioned that I worship both Hades and Loki. I’ve been worshipping Loki for about a decade and now with Hades it’ll be two years this year. They have taught and guided me through some of the most difficult situations, from my mother dying in front of me to dealing with shitty people who screw you over. Quite the extremes, yes, but that is my life.
In October of 2017 my mother had a massive heart attack, I was home in California visiting at the time (I now live in the Midwest). My daughter was with me, she had just turned one that year. One day while we were having lunch at home, my mother started to act out of character. The paramedics couldn’t give me much at the time aside from potential cardiac arrest. It wasn’t until she was admitted into ICU that I knew she had a heart attack, and suffered two more cardiac arrests on the life flight to the next biggest hospital from my hometown. Long story short– it was a week of hell for us all. By the end of it my dad and I discussed, she was taken off life support because she had less than 30% of her brainstem active. Otherwise, the woman I once knew was nothing more than a shell of her former self.
After a long trek home, I was lost in limbo and barely slept. Alcohol became my best friend and boy did I drink like a fish. For about three months I wasn’t me at all, I made sure that my daughter and husband (which mind you was my solid rock of support through it all) were taken care of, but in those quiet of nights when the horrors played again and again,
Just seeing my mother lie on the living room floor of my childhood home as the paramedics worked on her, my mother’s head turned and she stared right at me. Her eyes glass like a porcelain doll. I knew then she was never walking back through the front door again…
Then–I met Loki.
Like the flame of the hearth, he made himself known, brightly and intensely. At first I thought I was imagining things, but no, he was there in my psyche clear as day. I heard his voice, I could see the Cheshire cat grin and faint needle scars. I saw his hair, glimmering red (and glorious!). He put on his finest robes just for that occasion (usually he’s naked or has very little on, so I did really appreciate that he at least was somewhat modest in the beginning–don’t worry folks that changed immediately the next day!). Since then he’s been around, guiding me through the darkest of days, reminding me to find the beauty even in the mundane. To understand that this is life, that we go through various changes. To take no shit, to always be cunning and clever.
Through all that, I went through many many changes (like a phoenix). I had tried different style choices, careers, lifestyles hell even diets, to see who I really was. All my life I just went through life, I never thought myself good enough for something. I didn’t know what kind of talents I had. Loki showed me those. And I thank him everyday for it.
Then a couple of years ago I met Lord Hades.
I say ‘I met’ and 'a couple of years ago’ lightly. Lord Hades and I had met previously (at the time I wasn’t fully ready, I was dealing with some hard emotions and dealing with shitty people.) That’s when I really did need him the most, but I was too afraid, not of Hades, but of having to open up parts of myself that I wasn't ready to see. In October of 2024, that’s when he unveiled. Knowing I wasn’t ever truly ready but I took the deal. I don’t regret it either. What I do regret is that I allowed others to influence me negatively about myself and my spiritual path (Best believe that it will never happen again.)
Hades has taught me to look at the darkest part of myself, the demons, and to make friends with them. To embrace my own individuality, my own style, passions and careers. To be confident in my damn self and stop trying to please other people. Because of Lord Hades, I am more me than I have ever been before. I am always eternally grateful.
To sum up– I am very much a chaotic and eclectic witch. I work with what I have in my cabinets, in my brain. Thoughts are spells, words are magic. One day one ritual works, the next day? (NAAAAAAH! Try something new!) (You know sometimes a consistent routine is also needed…) (honhonhon *sinister French giggles*).
See what I get to hear all the time? Oh the joys of clairaudience. Like Twilight up in my head, one of them is sparkly and one’s got that dog in them. I won't tell you which one is which, I’ll leave that to your imagination.
Apologies–
But I’m not truly sorry– if I was then I wouldn’t be so much myself. I like making jokes, making people laugh. Maybe I was a comedian in a past life (or just another fucking clown).
What I am really trying to say here is that, when I write or blog; that it will always be wild and chaotic. I write authentically. I’ve learned through my years of spiritual practices that I seem to be a Weaver. A Weaver of words. Sitting there at my spinning wheel turning straw into gold. Always remembering magic comes at a price dearie
